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Surely Surreal
Friday, July 02, 2004  


dumbstruck... or is it stuck? :-) Posted by Hello


K a n u r i t e
   3:26 AM  


29th June

It was my mother’s birthday on 29th June… the entire day went by with me trying not think about her.. its funny the way birth and death almost go hand in hand, almost like stealthy silhouettes of two long lost lovers shimmering in the moonlight, reminding you that life is but a temporal shift from one to another.. the last birthday we celebrated was a surprise for her… my friends tiptoed to the house downstairs.. worn funny looking pointed caps.. gotten a cake almost melting with the number of candles for each of her lived years.. and I marched right ahead, leading them all singing happy birthday.. she lived through that year.. and the next.. but that somehow was the last celebrated birthday.. perhaps in the ones to come, there were really no celebratory feelings.. We’d clicked photographs on that day.. wide toothy smiles captured for posterity.. but somehow I did not want to see those pictures developed to be saved as a four by six on Kodak paper.. the images are more richer and vivid in my mind than it would have been in those paper cut outs.. perhaps they just gain more color over the years and don’t fade away… its three days since her birthday and I somehow am still living that birth date.. its almost as if time never really moved.. and just froze and embedded me in its crystal..

A week before that I spent some time four kids, whom I see as a mark on the time scale… an eight year old girl, whom I’d seen as a three year old on my sister’s wedding day.. a five year old, who it almost seemed like yesterday when he’d crawl up to my chair, and blink at me, till I finally took him into my lap and we’d listen to everything from Indian Ocean to Dylan.. the next I met him, he could dance to the songs we’d listen to, together.. a three year old girl, who is a framed snapshot in my head of a quiet kid pondering seriously with her tongue stuck to the table, who otherwise would never let anyone capture her snap.. who relied on sign languages and now doesn’t cease to talk even for a moment.. and the last of them all, and perhaps special, a one year old.. born on my birthday.. and it was something holding a newborn on a birthday, most precious than any gift one could ever get.. the spectacle of this transition from crawling, to walking, running, talking, softens the harshness of melting years.. Each time I look at them I cant help but smile at this miracle called life..


K a n u r i t e
   2:31 AM



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